What I learned from trying to conceive

Last year my husband and I decided that we were going to try for a baby. How exciting, we thought – we’ll probably be pregnant in a couple of months! Ahh how naive we were…

I had no clue about what a journey I was about to embark on, but it turns out, it wasn’t as straight forward as we’d thought.

18 months later, with our baby due in May, I wanted to share some things that I learned along the way. Things that I wish I’d knew when we’d started trying to conceive (TTC). Obviously everyone has their own journey, but here are my takeaways for anyone who’s about to embark on their own journey… 

🎢 It’s a rollercoaster. The highs of a confirmed ovulation, the anticipation of the two week wait, followed by the lows of a negative pregnancy test. Throw natural hormonal shifts into the mix, and that’s one hell of a ride! Over time, I found ways to cope during those trickier times of the month. What worked for me won’t necessarily work for everyone, so spend some time working out what you need during those low times. 

📈 Track with caution. Sometimes all the tracking and home testing can make you go a bit loopy. Measuring your temperature every morning, peeing on multiple different sticks a day, inputting all this data into various different apps – it can all become super stressful! While technology can be a useful tool, if it’s adding to your stress levels, it might be time to go back to basics.

🤪 It might not always go to plan. Yes, you might be one of those couples who try and the first month – BAM! – positive pregnancy test > uncomplicated pregnancy > baby. But for many of us, it’s not that simple. Sub-fertility, infertility, miscarriage and pregnancy complications are more common than you might think. I found it helpful to focus on the things within my control – my diet, sleep, exercise routine, how I spent my time – and tried to surrender to the things outside my control. 

🎪 The show must go on. You can’t put your life on hold just in case you have a positive pregnancy test. My husband and I had a lot of ‘What if we’re pregnant then?’ moments while we were making plans. But we went ahead and booked a trip to India, bought a campervan and planned a wedding, anyway. Because we realised that we couldn’t plan our whole lives around getting pregnant. So book that dream holiday, apply for the job you want, make plans that make you feel good. And try to enjoy doing the things that you won’t be able to do once you get pregnant! 

👥 Finding a support network is important. Have a good team around you – both professionals (e.g. coaches, acupuncturists, doctors, herbalists and – ahem – nutritionists!) and also people that get it. That might be an online community or a group of friends that can hold space for you. There may be moments when you need them. 

📱 Social media is a blessing and a curse. Find accounts that you resonate with, that make you feel good, and hide / unfollow those that don’t. One day I realised while scrolling that the majority of my social media space was taken up with accounts documenting people’s fertility journeys, and that really wasn’t helpful for me to see at the time. I did a huge cull and removed every single one – and it felt like a breath of fresh air. 

😇 You can’t always do it perfectly. You might be TTC for a while, and if you have the occasional cocktail or croissant, please don’t worry about it. In fact, ENJOY IT. 

♥️ Be kind to yourself. The most important thing I learned. You and your body are doing the best you can. 

Want to learn more about how to support yourself while TTC? I’ve made it super easy for you and am running a free 1-hour workshop, Food for Fertility, all about how to optimise your fertility with a few simple changes. Check out details here.

Book in for your free 30-minute consultation here.